“Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad.” — Anne Geddes

19Jun11

Yes this post is about the special person.  I wanted to blog for a long time but I was waiting for something really worthy to type on. So what makes my father a special person in my life.. Its hard for anyone to narrate how great someone was, even if you explain it in words it always looks less of a value. But let me try my best!

Lets back on to 1st april 1953, my dad was born in a small village in Pudukkottai district as fourth child to a beautiful couple. In olden days its very usual for most of the Indian families to have 5-10 children or even more.   My dad had his schooling in the same village with all his siblings.   By the time when my father went for high school his elder sister got married and two of his elder brothers had already started their university education. It was a real tough time for the family of a lower middle class status. My grandpa being an unsuccessful farmer had hard time to make the ends meet.

After my father completed his high school understanding the situation of the family he went to work in a local financing shop for a brief period. But it was my grandpa insisted him to take up PUC – Pre University Course  (which would be the current higher secondary education). My grandpa having no education himself knew the real importance of what education can do.  So even though having a tough time he sent my dad to study further in Madurai.  After finishing PUC my dad joined for B.A economics at “Arumugam Pillai Seethai Ammal College” in Tiruppattur.  My fathers home town was like 12 kilometers from Tiruppattur.  All through his college years he just used a good old cycle to commute to and fro 24 kms a day to his college. Once when he completed his degree he had to go through another round of  hardship. During 70’s and 80’s there were not much private firms, only a considerable amount of government jobs. But getting in to a government job is not that easy, being labelled as “OC” (Other Category) he had much less opportunities when compared with his peers ( I wish the government had a creamy layer for OC). It took nearly two years for him to find a job as a clerk in one of the upcoming banks at that time – IOB (Indian Overseas Bank).  When my father got his job he was keen on paying up the family loans. My grandma always says with proud that my father just keeps a mere amount for his personal expense and gives all the rest to her. And later on my father married my mom on 1980 and they had two baby boys on 1981, 1987 respectively :)

Now you can ask, this is an ordinary story of any individual in the 70’s or 80’s.  So how can he be special to me? ..Well I am coming there..!!! I was a mediocre student until my 10th grade scoring around 70% of marks. (Oh yet another story?? Don’t worry.. I will make it brief :)). When I decided drop higher secondary and go to a polytechnic university my father sat with me and gave some valuable advice on life (which was like teaching hindi to me – I never understood anything).  He just explained me the hardships that he went on and what are the challenges that I could face in my life. Well like any other son I promptly disagreed to what he said. But anyhow we came to an agreement that I will give higher secondary school a shot and if nothing works on, my father has to leave me on my way.

Here comes another short story, when I was a tiny tot my father taught me how to play chess. I think it was my second/third grade, we spend all our weekends playing chess and my father loses all the game just make me happy and bring on more interest in me towards the game. So during my 11th grade my dad encouraged me to participate in all the district and state level competitions hoping that it could bring me in much needed confidence… and yes it did. To explain myself I was a better positional player than a tactical player in chess. Although most people prefer tactical play since it is much of an attacking style and depends upon a lot of mental calculation I loved positional play which is of much defensive and you give your opponent enormous pressure by blocking all his advances (anyhow you need a little tactical blow to end the game). I bagged up lot of cups, certificates, money and much needed **confidence**. But it was not too late when I realized that my dad didn’t actually teach me chess to play it as a game but he wanted me to incorporate it in my life. I started concentrating on my own life. I found the areas where I am weak in education. I asked him to give me a separate room where I can be away from all the distractions, a moped to save much cycling time, a Stereo to relax myself, best tutors in the city who can teach me in a way that I can understand. I really used all my morning hours effectively and I never missed any test in my school life. I scored around 94% in my 12th and 81% on my entrance exam. Lol :) .. no one in my family believed me when I said the result including my mom.. Its only my dad who had the real smile. At that point I decided to study much more until I feel its enough. I joined one of the best engineering colleges in Tamil Nadu, I thought things had changed in me.. But unfortunately my new college didn’t work out for me, may be I am so lame to study, may be there were so many things to distract me or the lecturers were not so good to teach things in a way which I can understand.  Although those 4 years taught me a lot of valuable things in my life honestly speaking.

Then I came to USA to pursue masters after hearing from my brother about the education system here. I got an admit to one of the top 50 universities in US. It was only in my masters where I learnt much about computers and programming. Although I went through lot of hardships like economic recession, unemployment and much more things.. I always clanged to the idea of living life like a chess.  I tried different ways, took many risks, always manipulated my future in advance and here I am living the so called “American” life.

I did nothing, its all him. When I look back my life I haven’t done anything without my father backing me up (or) guiding me through. My dad’s life taught me the responsibility, his teachings guided me all through my life  and finally his support took me to the peak of success.  I could never repay this debt to my father. I am so thankful to him. He will be special to me always !!!

One day I will show this post to my kids and tell them how lucky we are to have him in our life! Love you daddy! Always!



7 Responses to ““Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad.” — Anne Geddes”

  1. A post in good time after a loooong time … Not many people know the complete name of the college their dads went to. It is all about appreciating those little things that teach us the best lessons in life. Good one annukar !

  2. Often, the world talks in glory of the Mother.. Being a Father is a job more demanding.. at least in a society like India. It is my father who is my Role-Model, always. At times I wonder if I will every be able to fill his shoes…

  3. @harimadhvr You are absolutely right! Appreciating little things in much important in any kind of relationship !!

  4. @saikris I agree with you.. Being a father is not that easy..
    Fathers deserve much credit as mothers..

  5. 5 llakku

    saandron aakkudhal thandhaiyin kadan enbathai meypithullar endre thondrukirathu

  6. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to mention that I have
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  7. Asking questions are really nice thing if you are not
    understanding anything totally, except this article gives pleasant
    understanding yet.


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